Imossible Wishes
by Sothis Draconis
Summary: AU. LxOFC paring. Contains episode 25 spoiler. The story is about how she coped with life after L with flashbacks inserted about how their relationship progressed and a lot more. L fans will get to have L more than the summery reveals.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Death Note manga, anime or the movies. None of the characters portrayed in them are mine. This is purely fan made and no money is being made through this in any way.

**Impossible Wishes**

_**By Sothis Draconis**_

**Prologue**

People don't die of a broken heart and yet they die so easily of a heart attack.

Ironic wont you say?

It's so easy to end a life ne? We human are such fragile a being. And yet we fight so hard to stay alive…

Even the most logical person who knows death is inevitable and sure will fight for his or her last breath as it escapes them in a desperate attempt to hold on for just another moment.

Even the most apathetic person who has chosen to end life on their own volition wont let their life go at that very last moment when there is no going back and all the earthly emotions or lack there of had made them take up this choice.

The wish to live _is_ the most primitive and instinctual one.

We can't help it really.

That slight wide eyed look of surprise that is left by Death, in eyes that were full of life just a moment ago now dull and looking in disbelief at something that's beyond the reach of the living.

A heart that once used to beat with so much warmth and conviction…now cold and still.

The person who once embodied so much pride, success, drive, pain, hope, dreams, endless memories, passion, disappointment and may be a few impossible wishes that all of us have just to have something to look forward to tomorrow…all of those things and so much more that once made him himself are now left at just an unmoving corpse, buried six feet under, slowly decomposing, a tombstone and may be a few words etched on it.

How long does it take for the dead to leave the living? Do you know?

How long before you start to forget how they looked, how they smiled?

How they had their coffee?

How about all the little quirks they had that you often couldn't stand and yet without them they wouldn't have been themselves?

How his eyes would shine or widen at the sight of something particularly interesting that looked perfectly ordinary to your or how about their favorite food and how he would savoir each bite?

Can you still remember how their hair felt as you ran your fingers through them? The way he always smelt of coffee, laundry soap, sugar and hint of strawberry and chocolate all mixed with something that's just him.

How long?

Weeks?

Months? Six months may be?

A year?

Two years?

Six years?

How long does it take before it all becomes just a distant memory that you only vaguely remember at odd moments?

You don't really want to forget, it just happens…it's the way of life…just nature's way of sustaining life by making us move forward, so that we can look forward to tomorrow once again, so that we can once again try to fulfill those impossible wishes or ours.

Wishes that probably won't ever come true and even though we know that, deep down, we still hold on to them in the hope that just may be…?

Those wishes _are_ part of our life.

But what happens when you lose all of them?

What happens when one day you see all those impossible wishes fall and shatter into a million pieces and realize you don't have anymore left?

You die.

Not your body but your soul. It too cracks and shatters and becomes lost.

And yet the body lives on. The heart still beats and the lungs still breathe and you can't help but feel resentment, a deep loathing towards your own treacherous body.

How can your stomach ache for food when it tastes like ash and just looking at it makes you nauseous?

How dare it act like nothing has changed when everything has!

But the thing is...even though you know you have lost everything and nothing is left to live for anymore, there is still something left inside you.

Mother Nature has one last impossible wish installed in all that has life…the wish to keep on living.

And so we live.

Even after the devastation of war, the destruction of disaster, the accident, the murder, the robbery, the divorce, the breakup or the funeral.

We keep living and eventually find new dreams and new wishes that we know are impossible but find new hopes to build on them.

Thus runs the cycle of life till the last breath is drawn.

So I too lived, eventually.

But before I started living again I too was just a body with a heart that could do no more than pump blood.

A person alive yet dead inside.

This however is not a story of the dead or death (though they are an intrinsic part of it) but of the living and of life.

This is the story of one Asumi Lawliet.


End file.
